WTF is it with some people ?
I swear, I'm very thankful sometimes that I don't carry a gun nor have a license to carry one. For if I did, a lot of fucktards would be dead.
I'm out and about minding my business. Doing some grocery shopping so the fucking schools don't call the dept of children and families on me claiming that I starve my kids. I grab the shit that I need, pay for it and leave the store. I pack the car with my days treasures, find my keys and sit on the drivers seat.
No sooner did I turn the fucking ignition on, there was a car up my ass.
This car with this stupid ass person driving it, 2 feet away from my bumper waiting for me to leave.
The stupid ass wanted my spot.
My spot that's located next to 10 other empty spots, a half a mile away from the store.
In an utter state of confusion, brilliant me stepped out of my car and searched my spot for missing gold or any other valuable items.
There could not be any other reason in this world why this fucktard would want my spot.
With my standing out of the car, he decided to honk the fucking horn in desperation. Ya, ok, like honking the horn is gonna make ME move faster. Doesn't he know that I'm a spiteful bitch ?
So with the car now turned on, I waited. I waited and waited and waited.
So did he.
Doesn't he know that I'm gonna win ? For I have 726382 kids at home that make a lot of noise and quite frankly siting in this here car all by myself is a luxury..
After a lot of quiet time passed. The fucktard left quite pissed. I watched him park his car and go into the store only for me to follow not to far behind.
I stopped my car right behind his, and waited.
All I have to say is that the look on his face was well worth my bitchiness when he arrived to his car.
Of course I left soon after in fear of the cops being called.
Why must these people fuck with me ?
18 comments:
That is so damn funny! I never understood people like that. I have done spiteful shit like you as well; driven slower if I see some idoit hauling ass behind me, road even with the car next to me so he couldn't pass either one of us, sped up if I thought he might be able to pass me.. it's lotsa fun.
I'm sorry I hovered behind your car in the parking lot (dressed as a man). You caught me on a really bad day. ;-)
Um......please don't move to Texas. You too, Dizzblnd. I don't want to see you dragged behind some redneck's pickup.
Holy shit! That is the greatest idea ever!! I'm going to use that next time someone does that to me!!! LOL!
I keep a book in the car for these such times... makes it easier to wait 'em out.
Plus, when they finally leave mad, I know my work is done.
;-)
God.
You're a genius.
I would have never thought to do that.
Normally I just plaster the vehicle of the offender with pads and place a tampon on the antenna.
I will try your method.
I eagerly await new methods on how to deal with assholes.
You are a god...
Haahahahah though I have to say that the tampon method is pretty good too.
Thank you so much Dani for this wonderful suggestion.
I can't tell you how many times I've been stumped as to how to get back at stoopid stoopid drivers.
I love your way.
;)
I like the tampon method and will have to start buying them again just for that idea alone.
I have to ask you all...how is it that we have no problem considering these kinds of assaults on stupid fuctards but we, at least I, refuse to let my 16 year old son participate in these kinds of shenanigans?
youre kinda scary...
Jen, I just remember the old saying. " Do as I say not as I do". I try my best to utilize is with my kids.. :)
They fuck with you because you look fuckable. Wait, I mean you probably look like you're easy. Shit, that's not it either. You probably are small and "sweet" looking and come across as an easy pick for assholes. That's what I mean.
Hhahaha I love it Don !!!
omg .. fucktard.. my all time fav word..
omg...parking lot bitchiness... my all time fav sport...
IT'S BEEN A REALLY GOOD BLOG READING DAY!!!
Oh My God. You rock. I wish I had your guts (well, not literally, thanks) but that was priceless!
I am so stealing fucktards!
Remind me never to mess with you and yer feminine products
Dani, relax: they're not f***ing with you, they just have a large empty space between their ears. Like certain politicians, who will go nameless (including a recently-departed President).
But what do I know; I'm a Canadian.
You nasty bitch!
How I laughed!
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