Hello all you "Crazy Dani" readers. This is the Hussy Housewife blogging.
I am here on blogging business.
Official Hussy blogging business.
Blogging you all a PSA of sorts.
Here to help Dani crunch some numbers.
To help get Mr. Crazy Dani stimulated.
As some of you already know, the Hussy Housewife ♥'s Dani. I am willing to help Dani in anyway I can. She is one of my best blogging buddies out there. She is a hardcore, and always has the Hussy's back. Hardcore as in...if we where in the grade school cafeteria....and someone was trying to steal my cherry flavored Capri Sun ...Dani would TOTALLY bust a training bra strap. Put her jelly glitter wearing foot up their arse for me.
So with that kind of loyalty, I have decided to help Dani fullfill a life long dream of hers. As we all know she calls herself the "President of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee." She has been dreaming of a new pair of girls for a while. This dream has been low on the list of priorities. She is to busy corrupting financially funding her brood. When you have a soccer team of kids to take care of, college tuition to throw down. How can you justify a new pair of fun bags for Mr. Crazy Dani... and when Dani is alone in the bathtub? You can't...so you have to get creative for the cash.
Dani claims her boobs are like this:
(○) (○) umm I mean (.) (.) and she wants them like this ( ○ ) ( ○ )
Whoaaaa....TUNE IN TOKYO!
I have tried to help Dani out before with this issue. Give her good advice on how to properly stuff her training bra. Tried to lend her a chicken cutlet to stuff in there out of my freezer. Told her to keep it towards the bottom and outside of each cup. To sew it in to keep yourself safe from embarrassment or vegans. That wasn't enough for her, she wanted more. I was happy to give her my left one in exchange for a guest post on my blog, since I have been blessed with two large lactating devices. Two large milk jugs. I had enough milk to go around, to add to her morning coffee A-cup. Well then that didn't work either, she just kept leaning to the left and walking in circles. Getting dizzy and falling down. people thought she was a drunk like me.
This is where my PSA starts. My Public Service Announcement to all you who also belong to the Itty Bitty Titty Committee. While I am helping Dani achieve her life long goal of no longer having to lift, fold, and tuck her twins into the bra, I want to help you all out there too. So I came up with a plan on how you can afford the implants. You can thank Obama for this one. I got 4 words for ya:
2009 Economic Stimulus Package
Yep, I will be showing you all how the stimulus package will be paying for these new cupcakes. How all your husbands will be getting their own massive "stimulus package."
It involves the $13 a week part of the stimulus. Here is how it works and the math.
A average boob job cost about $5,500. So you just take the $13 dollars you get a week now and put them in a savings account. Double that if you have a hubby who works to. IF he is gonna get a massive stimulus package out of this..he needs to fork over his $13 a week to. Since Mr. Crazy Dani works to....Dani has $26 a week going into her "Fun Bags here we COME!" fund.
So $26 x 52 weeks a year = $1352 a year. $5,500 •/• by $1352 = 4 years till surgery!
So go help Dani get her new boobs:











25 comments:
I had plans for that money. My drinking problem is expensive and I don't think I can give it up.
Not completely anyway.
I'll send three dollars...then she can just get smaller tits. Big perky ones will look creepy when she's old anyway.
My poor daughter is a 36 DD. She hates those babies (she is only 5' tall and tiny so you get the picture) Maybe we can save for a breast reduction and hand the excess over. We could get a two for one (I mean two) package so to speak. Pam
If she's little, then I'm two lifesavers on a surfboard. I should be the President of the Committee.
I AM SO getting some (cupcakes) with our tax money!
I once wore a backless dress backwards and no one noticed... so cry me a river..
OK,, I have no use for big boobies at my age,,, I'll pitch in!
Damn, I am so giving it's just crazy. What I wouldn't do for fellow bloggers..
Blonde Goddess- I understand your priorities. Alcohol taxes are going up! I do appreciate, and Dani to your $3 dollar contribution. I will send you a statment in teh mail so you can write it off on your taxes.
Frippery- That is a very good economic plan for these times. I will run that plan by Dani. A 2 for 4 plan.
Reforming geek- You up for this savings plan??? OR maybe you could take over as president when Dani steps down in 4 years???
The Queen- That is very giving and patriotic of you. I swear I wil not drink the money away and give it to Dani Fun Bag Fund.
I can't give money but I'm happy to give her some of my ample ass, there ought to be a couple D cups there with plenty leftover.
Good thing I don't need a boob job, cause I am single and according to your caculations if married get that much I it'd take me 8 years before I could save the dough. And with inflation which is surely to come under this MORONIC administration well I'd never see the day!
My, my Hussy you do get around don'tchoo?
Let's see, I'm scraping around in my purse....(jingle, jingle, jingle)...eureka!
I have 68 cents that I would love to generously contribute to the cupcake cause.
Where's the paypal linky?
lol
This post is useless without pictures.
I guess I'm with Da Old Man -- where's the pix?
May be it's that you're not (.)(.) but actually (o)(o), an' just being hussy. Bad hair day? Patient bite you at work? (I know; that really happens, and far too often.)
Besides if I'm betting your Man really isn't terribly worried about (.)(.) or (O)(O). He's probably more interested in playing than measuring, especially in the afternoon (as you've explained).
Finally, I can't help you, tax-wise; I'm a Canadian. (That may help to explain what I've just said.)
haha....enjoyed the read.
haha, that's awesome. I paid my taxes. do I get to see them when they are done?
Itty bitties my ass...
Way, way too much math!
Yeah, don't get my started on the stimulus package. I'll be enjoying my $13 a week just like everyone else. LOL.
Great post. I am new to your blog, but enjoyed this post and your writing style. I came across it on another blog and decided to check it out.
Anyway, I just wanted to comment. Have a good rest of the day.
P.S. On the economy again, I still think the answer is to give every tax paying citizen a check for $50,000. Trust me, I would spend it and not put it in the bank. LMAO.
Thanks,
The Constant Complainer
Cleveland, OH
Well I would give you my entire $900 cheque that im getting in April though...in USD that is prolly $0.03 cents so that wouldn't help anyone.
Sorry for double comment. (plz dn't hrt me) If correct due to being a student as well I should be getting the cheque twice (or it being in the same cheque doubled) so that would still be $0.06 cents USD...
I've always been known for my. . . uh. . ability to give advance warning before I appear in a room.
My boobs always appeared before my head did.
Now, I just use them to steady my laptop.
Jen- We love leftovers!! Mean we women don't have to cook.
Lauren- Yeah..that math doesn't look to good for ya. I couldn't agree with you more on what our future may hold. One word for you..DEBT!
Quirks- Thanks for you help with 1 Tsp. of saline.
Da Old man- I will leave the picture idea to Dani...if she want to share them with the world. I do believe she should..since us taxpayers are paying for them.
Rob bear- I can not answer those questions on Dani's behalf. I am just The Hussy Housewife. Yeah your tax dollars are already spent..
Joppa- Thanks! However I didn't enjoy doing the math.
Petra- I think Dani should let us peek..if we are paying for them. I will talk to her when she gets back to her blog.
LL- I can't answer that...but she swears by it.
ScandHousewife- You cheated on your math test too..huh?
Constant complainer- Thanks for visiting Dani's blog. I will tell her you stopped by. She is busy taking tests..so she can work more and pay more taxes. Ohhh $50,000 would be soooo nice!!
James- it is the thought that counts....
Dana- Hussy know what you mean. I tried to tell Dani she didn't want big boobs...that they are a pain.
Ah, Hussy -- sorry for the fox-paws. I couldn't quite figure out who was writing.
I'm just beginning to wake up from hibernation, and get a little confused about other peoples' identities. Not to mention my own.
Dani, I've found the answer: drink plenty of water. Yep. If you don't believe me see my post (no pun intended) @ http://nonamedufus.blogspot.com/2009/02/about-drinking-water.html
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