Blast from the past :
There has been a lot of times in my life that I have wanted to ingest a poison or two, but last night, I was actually searching for it.
The husband and myself went out with another couple ( his friends). They just recently had a baby this past September. Well, evidently last night was the first night that she left the baby since she had him. The whole entire time all she talked about was this effing kid. "I miss him so much", "I wonder what he's doing right now"? "Do you think I missed anything at all"? "Did you see the most recent pictures of him"?
Now here she comes with this gigantic photo album of this fucking baby. As she was laying this heavy book on the table, I was asking for my 5th vodka and cranberry. Uggh here we go again. Another couple decided to join us and the first thing that the Mom said to the other couple was "Hi, I just had baby ( ya in fucking September), that's why I'm fatter, you want to see some pictures"?
OMG, ok so at this point I'm bombed off of my ass, I turned to her and said " listen, I'm out to get away from my stupid fucking kids, not that you asked how mine were doing". " I don't really want to hear anymore or see anymore pictures of kid. You see, I'm not sure if you remember or not, but I have 6." "Yup, 6, I have all of their photo albums in the truck if you want to see them, but I don't want to bore you with that." Needless to say she shut the fuck up.
What is it? Because I have so many kids, people think that that is my only topic? My only understanding in this world?
Really, I have a lot of depth to me, and my life isn't based purely around kids. I can carry on a good conversation about other things too.
You know you're annoying when a Mom of 6 kids wants to drink bleach for fun, because you won't Shut the fuck up about kid shit.
Click Here for the Moms that I cant stand series..
respect urban solitude
16 hours ago
18 comments:
Said perfectly. I know the type. I just had this at Burger King Playland. I wanted out of there soo bad because all the moms would nOT shut up about vaginal birth vs c-section, having boys vs girls. ARGGGHHH Use women do have other things we enjoy, like cream pies and Vodka!
Does this mean you don't want me to send you the pictures and stories of the latest adventures (they're soo gooey and sweet) of my kids?
I haven't put the stamp on it....yet!
heh heh
I can't believe I missed all this. I think I would have run away screaming.
I've told Hubby in the past that if we'd had kids, I'd be in the asylum and he would be raising them. I wound not be in any Mommy Club or resemble in any way a Stepford Mom!
;-)
Don't people automatically assume you are crazy without the threat of drinking bleach? Hell, I mean with six kids... You deserve a break today. Go to McDonalds.
You know, your Naughty Nurse pic looks like you already drank the bleach, all Michael Jackson-like
moody x
Crap does this mean the email I sent with the the mini album of my Granddaughter is not going to make front page of your blog?
You made me pee.. not nice to make the queen pee,, and I gigglesnorted tea out my nose at the same time..
Holy crap, six kids...
Anyway, yeah, what is it with these moms who think that their stupid kid is as interesting to everyone else as it is to them? Or as cute? Or as smart. It can drive you to drink (well, obviously.)
Look for her "mommy blog" soon. I hate those people, they act like they are the only ones on the planet who know what a bay is.. Good for the vodka for speaking it's mind!
I agree Mommy Daddy...its like when mom peeps post shit about "Little Johnny just pooped himself...I am trying to write but I keep getting distracted by the titty fund...that is fantanstic..
I cant relate to the mommy stuff but this is my only baby blog of all time.
http://www.waltsense.com/home/2009/3/12/the-disposable-diaper-and-baby-wipes.html
Getting away from the kids and having an adult conversation is a good thing. Restores one's sanity. Obviously you got caught in a mis-match of expectations.
BTW, was this her first? (That may explain something.) Or is baby-making the only thing in her life? (That may explain something, too.)
The story is told of a woman who, when she had her first child, took it do the doctor every times it chirped. By the time the third one came along, when it swallowed a dime, she said, "That will come out of your allowance."
And that's the news; your heard it here, first.
Mmmmmmmmmmm, bleach...yummy yummy!
Well, at least by your 5th drink that baby surely had to be looking cuter & cuter.
What a drag!
Does this mean you don't want to see my doula photos? LOL
I'm not sure if I have a crazy ass comment, but as someone with no kids, I know I hate hearing about it too. :) Not saying I don't want to hear about your kids...so please do share. At least,they're not mine. ;)
LOL--I hope I'm not that kind of mom who only talks about her child. I know how important it is to be a woman... an individual also.
Davida
Kudos to you for doing we all wish we had the nerve to.
Pfft... just start carrying around a photo album of you naked. You can retaliate in kind then. ;)
Although... you'd get asked to go to dinner a lot more often.
LMFAO. Oh my god! Dani you are crazy but I think I love it! I love opinionated people and am often told I am one.
I love that someone that has so many kids can get annoyed at the conversation topic of kids! I have zero kids right now but all my cousins and friends have them to it seems like thats all they ever talk about.
"Oh my son, the oldest one, you know the math genusis that skipped 2 grades, he's feeling under the weather."
"Oh my daughter, she has a learning disability and I hold her hand through everything. It's really hard on kids to be different in school..."
GAG ME WITH A PITCHFORK!!! If and when you are invited into my home I want to spend a few minutes asking how your kids are and then lets move on. Let's talk about whats happening in the world, how work is going, that place you and hubby went to try a few days ago.... like you know, actual conversation.
Because I'm related to these people and I don't want to completely offend them I just try to change the subject to something worthy of conversation and seriously, can you keep your 12 year old daughter away from the "adult table" while we are having "adult conversations?!" I understand you kid is antisocial and hasn't figured out how to disconnect herself from your vaginal canal but c'mon! I can't talk freely in front of a 12 year old as I would around a table as full out adults!!!!
Grrrrr...okay sorry for writing a novel as a comment. I'll go away now.
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