I'm probably gonna get fired for writing this, but I can't help myself.
Our infection control nurse is a tad bit on the heavy side. Her job, well is that of infection control. If you're dirty or stink, she'll talk to you about it. She also over sees the techniques of cleanliness at the job too.
Well, she just happened to have been following me around one day. Most likely to determine if I need more training or if I'm doing my job just right.
Anyway, I kept getting this funny smell in my area.
After of about 30 minutes, that funny smell turned into a putrid stank.
I kept asking what that smell was, expecting her to give me an answer. NOPE.
I could have sworn there was dog shit on my shoe, but it wasn't a dog shit smell.
This smell kept following me and the only thing that I could think of was that it had to have been me !!!
I excused myself for a few moments and stripped in the girls locker room expecting to find something, no ANYTHING on my clothes.
Nothing, and now the smell was gone..
Weird..
Back to work I assumed and again there was the infection control nurse. Yet again that smell blessed me with its presence.
After much mental debate and coming to the conclusion that I fucking stink, the infection control nurse bent down in front of me.
And what did I see ?
A big ass shit stain on her fucking pants.
No, for real..
The infection control nurse sharted herself and was literally walking around with shit on her ass for all to see and smell.
I wanted to say something so badly but I just couldn't.
How the hell do you tell someone that's sane that they shit themselves ? Oh wait, did I say sane ?
25 comments:
Got to admit it, Dani; that a pretty shi**y posting. Not quite potty-mouthed. More like potty-missed.
Please clean up your act. And get you IC person to do the same.
If you're looking for work, we need good nurses in Canada. Oh, wait; did I say good?
Whoa.. what the shit? LOL! That is so nasty. I wonder if she just had the spitting farts, and didn't realize. lmao ewwwwww!
LMAO...kinda enjoying that you didn't tell her. How do you Hershey squirt yourself and not know it? How did she not smell it?
Rob..Canada has nurses ?
To shart or not to shart? That is the question.
ugh!
Ha! This is sooooo gross that it is hilarious!
Hey wait. I'm smelling something funny....could that be....me?
Naaaaah! (I think?)
Ooohhh, I hate when that happens...
Holy crap.
I couldn't tell her either.
Really, though, that's the worst...when you shart, but don't know it, just ASSuming you've just let a wet one.
And yes, Dani, Canada has nurses...and I'm pretty sure they don't crap their pants either!
LMFAO ... Mary,I have to say that that was the best come back ever !!!!
Canada has universal health care too. I don't need to show my insurance card before the doctors will take the shrapnel out of my spleen.
Also, we have a lady at our office who hasn't yet gone the way of the shart. However, her farts are putrid and she does piss herself daily.
EEEEWWWWW! I can't imagine what she thought we she undressed after work. Can you not feel the wetness or does she not sit down?
OMG!!! She is a)disgusting and, b)obviously NOT qualified for infectious control if she can't even smell and feel her own shart! ugh! :P
Hmm, yes I used to work with a woman who had an unfortunate incident of this very nature. It was harder to tell, as she was almost always surrounded by a Pigpen-like fog of fart stench, but she went ahead and made it known. Seemingly not the least bit embarrassed about it, either.
I would have start subtly with her..."Hey, did you know Winnie the Pooh never actually did?"
puke.. all I can say.. puke
I'm sorry, I didn't hear a word you said after "stripped in the girls locker room."
Canada has some nurses but most Canadians run here for better care...although after your story...
Shart... HAhahahahahaha!!! See? I learned a new word today... Thanks Danigirl...
I agree with...mike but in a different perspective, i don't like the US health care plan, like if you don't have the dough or insurance you can go die outside and not on the property, in Australia they will treat you (even for the most expensive surgery) and it will cost you after, they will make plans with you so it won't be so hard to repay and they get their money, i think every first class country should incorporate that as there are so many Americans who dont have the insurance or a few grand on them when they need dire medical help but could get the money back to the system.
A woman at my old job did this.
Thing is, she fessed up. AND showed me her pants that she was carrying around wadded up in her hands.
WTF?!?!?!
I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
Say something? WTF!!!???!! How does a person not know they shit themselves?
WOW.
I've queefed myself before but never sharted.
ok..
Well there was the ONE time it happened but the guy said he'd pay me extra if I did it for him.
Don't judge me.
Vodka isn't cheap.
Just in case of future incidents of this nature: I'd pass a note to the nurse at the desk addressed to Shart-Nurse, & tell her to page her for a message.
Of course, we'd laugh about it later (I'm ashamed to admit, okay maybe not). I'd probably lurk around waiting for the bomb to drop, acting all innocent.
Kind of like Mrs. Parks did to me yesterday - but I'll be blogging about that a little later on today...
You should have said "How the hell do you tell someone that's stained that they Shatner'd themselves ?"
OMG. That was nasty as hell. But absolutely hilarious at the same time.
I am amazed that she didn't realize she was stinkin... Yuck...
that's a skidmark for the ages. Not saying something is worse then me replacing my sharted undies into my brothers bin so I wouldn't be busted. I still laught at that...
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