Ok, well, I think that picture is a perfect descriptor. Shit. Now, I'm not saying that my life is full of shit. No, what I'm saying is that there's a lot of shit in my life and should inevitably be called "The Shit Queen". So here's my list as to why I should have that kick ass title.
1. I have been raising kids for all of eternity now. I have changed more kid's asses than I know what to do with. My kids, my siblings, kids kids, friends kids, nonrelative kids whom aren't friends, I just needed to change the kid's ass because it stunk. So, ultimately speaking, I have changed a LOT OF ASS which was full of shit.
2. My job (Nurse) always seems to consist of or revolve around shit. I don't necessary change shit, oh no, I "observe" shit. Yummy. I look, sniff, and record the type of shit, quantity, color, odor, and whether or not one can take a shit. If it has been a standing amount of days that a patient has not gone to the bathroom...Oh yes, Rotor rooter comes in.. Now, I either shove my hand up your rectum to see if your full of shit. If you ARE full of shit (FOS in the medical community), than I have the honors of giving you a suppository, enema, or a simple laxative..All of which I don't prefer to do... If all goes well, than my job is complete. If all doesn't go well, than there's more to follow...YUMMY...
3. Animal Shit. Yes, this too I have cleaned a lot of. Almost as bad as "changing ass".
You see, my kids have always managed to take home an animal or two, on more than one occasion. Of course these "Oh, so cute" animals aren't house broken..nope...They shit on my floor..So this leads to my OCD with germs and turns into a ranting "clean shit festival". Just so this nonhousebroken animal can shit , yet again, on my now clean floor.
4. I have some friends and relatives that are Shit heads. Actually, I should say acquaintance's. Yes, most of them are usually full of shit, or they just fill your head with some bullshit.
5. At a bad time of day, I probably smell like shit, and most often look like shit.
6. I definitely look like shit when I first get up (my poor husband), and my breath in the morning/afternoon...Whooo..OMG, It definitely smells like shit.
6. Lastly, I have a shitty mouth, if you guys haven't noticed. No, I have no regard for using the word shit....Hope you guys enjoyed this shit..
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