sQ7PnCfVGQRQ86uwkQNC7eB-VIc This Ain't No Effin Mom blog

Divorce or something like it..

So back to writing I go to. My fail safe. Expressionism when you're lonely. I have no idea who reads this anymore, if anyone does at all? Fuck it! It's for me anyways. 

What you may have known as my being the funny, sarcastic "mom of many kids" is now a lost soul in the midst of emptiness.
I used to write a lot when my husband was working his ass off, and I working nights, being home during the days taking care of a bunch of kids. I guess blogging to me was a form of socialism when I couldn't socialize with adults.
Now, it remains to be the same.
I don't know what happened?
How did it get this far?
We were once happy. A big happy family.
A big happy family now turned into hell on earth. People change, things change, times change. 
Lost...

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Hair Update!

So, I've gotten a few emails asking me about my baldness. I'm guessing that they want an update.
Well, here it is:
It has started to grow back slowly. I have actually learned to love the shortness. I love how easy it is and how the other bald chicks in the world think we belong to some sort of cool ass elite club. I love fucking with people when they stare.
I really don't miss it, but I am however at this current moment, allowing it to grow.


Click Here for the Moms that I cant stand series..

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The Life of a Bald Chick!

About 1 year ago, I had long, straight, black hair down to my ass. I always managed to receive compliments on it when I wore it down. Is that you're real color? Do you straighten it?

(SHUT UP!! I KNOW THIS IS A BAD PIC!!!!)

Because I work and live in the medical profession, my hair was always up and hardly ever wore it down. It really made no sense for me to keep it that length.
 So, I went out and got a cute spunky haircut! 
I loved it and it lightened up my facial features. 
It was more me! Spunky!!!
(SHUT UP!!!!!!)

Fast forward 8 months later......

My hair started falling out in chunks. At first it wasn't that noticable. 
Everytime I took a shower, more and more hair wads and clumps were falling out. 
Now, I'm not talking 100-200 strands..I'm talking handfuls! I was sooo fucking fearful to shower everyday, in fear of how bald I was going. My scalp was itchy and had blisters on it.
Turns out it was a nasty reaction that I was having.

I tried to learn new hair techniques, such as the comb-over. 
As each shower passed and clumps of hair washed away into the drain, my self conscience washed away with them. The dread, the fear...what if people knew? 
What if someone saw? I grew increasingly paranoid. I would mentally freak out if someone stood next to me or behind me.
What if they were staring? What did she see? What did she think? Does she know I'm bald? How do I keep going to work like this? This paranoid?!?!?!?!
as it grew increasingly worse:




At this point..I couldn't take anymore. I had to shave it. I was having a breakdown. I wanted my hair gone as much as I wanted my fears and paranoia gone. I just wanted this hell over with. I didn't want to freak out anymore. I was making myself mental.

After, I shaved it...It was a big fucking relief! I think I accepted the fact that I was bald before the people around me did. They all freaked out and I was back to my normal self. It was amazing!
I was being held hostage by my own stupid hair!
I saved an hour a day with conditioners and styling. I finally learned what a "7 in 1 body wash"really means! 
Losing my hair has been one of the most liberating experiences of my life, and most bald women will tell you this! You learn how society portrays beauty and femininity with hair. How women are perceived by looks and not personality. By losing my hair, I've discovered how my facial features really are amazing! My jaw line is amazing and never noticed it before! Being bald, opens a whole new form of beauty.
Now, I have received great a many of comments regarding this choice and a whole lot of strange looks. You have to be prepared to get stared at. Most people will glance up and try their best not to be obvious by looking at your naked head. They'll glance several more times. Some will blatantly stare while they think you're not looking. It's these times that I just state "yes, I'M BALD"...Some will ask to rub your head and others will ask if you have cancer and are dying. It is these particular times that I have fun with people and come up with some sort of idiotic response. My favorite so far has been "I'm going to be a mannequin for Halloween". 
You learn how strong you really are and how fast people are willing to judge you. Myself included (before I went bald). 


Loving Life with a naked head!

Click Here for the Moms that I cant stand series..

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Vodka?!

You'd think that I would have learned by now but nooooooo..
Drinking vodka on an empty stomach equals....SO NOT FREAKING COOL the next morning!! Wtf is wrong with me?!?!
I'm dying here!!!!!

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